Dear Conscience,

I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm newly unemployed, but surely that's even more reason to indulge in a little retail therapy? Okay, fine, £10 on blue eyeliner I may never use again may have been a little too much, but I needed it to complete my fancy dress outfit:

(Click the thumbnail!)



I know, right?! It's so cute. That's why I also had to buy the trousers and shoes. Evidently it was necessary to preserve the natural order of things.

If it makes you feel better, I'll make sure the dog collar and the wrist restraints are worn frequently...but I'd rather not elaborate on that just now.

I blame this whole 'guilt' situation on my friends for their high expectations of me. They require me to look absolutely incredible 100% of the time. Damn you, first impressions.

So, technically, I'm really doing it for my friends.

Spending money to make them happy.
To make them smile.
To make the world a better place.

See, I'm a good person, really.

Forever yours,

The (no longer) Guilty Party

P.S. That burger and chips last night doesn't count as naughty because they didn't supply nutritional information when I bought it. I didn't want to ask, because last time they looked at me funny. Maybe they didn't know what calories were.