Dear Everyone (again),

Sorry for not posting anything new (or interesting) in the last few weeks, but something really weird happened to me. Like, really weird. Like...Lindsay-Lohan-deciding-not-to-drink-drive kind of weird...

I got a life. An actual shiny, sparkly, action-packed, fun-filled life. I'm sure it won't last long, though, so don't fret. I'll be back with my sarcastic analysis of stupid people very soon. However, for now, I'll just let you know what's happening to me at the moment. Read on if you wish...

Usually I just sit at home on my blog, pressing refresh every five seconds to see if anyone has commented on my computer and do nothing. This, as I'm sure you'll agree, is not the best way to have fun. Unless you're seriously into anime or porn, or both. See, I could live without Aniporn. Life, however, I need. Every now and again, anyway.

So I did it. I ventured out into the daylight and I found that I didn't melt. I didn't turn to dust. I actually liked it. I even tanned a little! I spent the day with some friends who came down from Wales. I had a drink with an online friend for the first time, and I went to a foam party at a gay club. How exciting. I need to do this more often!

Okay, I'll snap out of it now. Sarcastic, judgemental Kyle will be back soon. I promise.

Bye!

Kyle

Dear Old man sat in front of me on the bus,

Who told you you could wash your hands with the pages of the Metro? Really, who? Because you can't. Nope.

It's also not hygienic to blow your nose on the pages either, before offering the tattered remains to me.

"Do you want a newspaper?"

No I do not, old man. No I do not.

Yours in fear of swine flu,

The guy sat behind you on the bus.